How to explain the malformation to relatives and friends ?

Facial cleft: a frequent congenital anomaly

The birth of a child with a congenital malformation such as a cleft lip or palate is a shock for all parents. Most people have never seen or even heard of this type of malformation.

Information: limitations and individual variability

We offer information and answers to the many questions most parents ask themselves in this situation. However, the information we may offer has limitations. Every child is unique and some information presented here may not apply to your child.

At the time of birth, it is sometimes difficult to find the words to explain the situation to parents and their relatives.

Immediate and as complete an information as possible will help you,  your relatives and friends, see your child as he/she is, a baby with the same potential as others, but with a physical difference that surgery can correct.

Simple answers are preferable. For example: “she or he is born with a separation in his mouth (lip) that the specialist will be able to repair it in a few months”. You can assure them that the cleft does not hurt the baby.

What and how will you tell your child?

When your child will be old enough to understand, it is very important that you answer his/her questions directly and honestly. This will help him/her gain self-confidence and accept the treatment procedures that will be necessary.

It is important to take picture of your child as a newborn. Your baby is born with a difference that you can not deny. Most children like to see pictures of themselves when they were babys. Your child will realize that even if he/she is born with a facial cleft, you as parents have accepted this difference. Moreover, it will prevent him/her being the only member of the family with no picture of his first weeks of life.

This approach will improve his/her self-confidence. The absence of photos would on the contrary make him/her think that his/her appearance was such that nobody wanted to remember it and he/she will consider it as an overly negative experience.